Remembering Mom

Today I am remembering mom like just about everyone else.

I was the youngest in my family so by the time I was in 10th grade everyone else had moved away except mom, dad, and I. As a teenager I suppose I appreciated mom, but I am fairly certain I rarely let on. After all, parents are so embarrassing to a teenager. Now in my early 40s I look back on that time as a gift I failed to recognize. Mom worked as a school teacher and on nights when dad was working late I would sometimes make dinner for the two of us and have it ready for her when she came home. It was our time together and I could make any of the foods that I like, and dad would not eat - but mom would. My favorite was the Ortega Taco Kit from the grocery store.

Just over a year has passed since mom died (March 19th, 2005). It seems like just yesterday and I have not been the same since. I moved away from home 20 years ago, but never lost contact. We talked nearly every week, usually not having much new to say but talking anyway.

I never really realized the depth of her impact on me until she was gone. I find this feeling very difficult to put into words. I can only explain it as a very deeply held sense of strength and confidence I held knowing that mom and dad (see photos above) were just a phone call away. And, no matter what situation I happened to be dealing with on the particular day they would hear me and provide wise counsel.

Now neither are here and I can only seek their advice in my heart. I can still here mom's words in my head as if I were 10 or 15 years old again. I know what she would tell me to do, and she would reassure me that everthing would be alright. If only I could call her one more time - I never imagined how hard life would become. I still have the phone number in my cell phone, and, of course, it will be in my heart forever.

I have failed to distance myself from the grief of losing mom, dad, my brother Jeff, and Vicki's diagnosis of cancer. Some of you may find this to be the case for the loss you feel for a loved one. I have been reading a daily e-mail from GriefShare. They do not offer any miracle solutions, but they do offer useful insights to help make the grieving process a little more bearable.

Vicki Attends Auction

Yesterday, May 13th, 2006, proved to be a normal weekend day for us here in Herndon - soccer games and birthday party for friends. In the evening we participated in the 10th Annual Southview Baptist Church Auction to support the youth group at the church. Vicki managed a late-day rally and attended the auction for most of the time. She didn't buy anything last night. I walked away with a few gift certificates to local restaurants and some coffee.